I have. That is, I’ve abandoned this site. After the Tumblr implosion, this seemed like the best alternative. I was wrong – because nobody visits here. I’m keeping the site up as an archive of posts. Still have my Tumblr, though don’t post to it often. For fiction, I’m now posting to Archiveofourown. For images, usually Furaffinity. But don’t expect this to be updated again. It won’t.
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Bad Ass
“What a nice breakfast that was!” Sworddog said the next morning after they’d risen with the miners.
“Indeed! I don’t know what spice they put in that sausage, but it was excellent!” Lydia agreed.
“Absolutely excellent,” Slutcat agreed, smacking her lips. “Though really Lydia, I don’t think it was necessary to do that fellatio imitation on that sausage. That’s a little overkill.”
“Oh? You think so? I was just putting on a show for them.”
“I think that guy beside you burst his underwear!”
Sworddog spoke up then. “Not him, but my nose doesn’t lie about such things. Annekke was quite turned on.”
“REALLY?” both the bipeds laughed.
“She seemed such a stalwart type too,” Slutcat said.
“Well, it does explain why she didn’t put up a fuss at our ‘armor’.”
“And why she stayed up all night ‘guarding’ over us while we…”
“Ah! It all comes clear now.”
The three continued up the trail, content now with food, the day, and life in general. Even Sworddog was as happy as Slutcat had ever seen her.
Slutcat began to sing a bawdy song she’d learned and the other two joined in as they walked, even if the actions were quite impossible for Sworddog. But even she could appreciate the humor.
It was approaching midmorning when they came upon a fortress, and Slutcat stopped at a nearby bridge to rest a bit.
“Awful quiet for this time of day,” Lydia pointed out. “Unusually. That’s Fort Amol. Last I heard it was held by the Stormcloaks. But they’d be up and around by now. You want to skirt around it?”
“Stormcloaks eh? My friend Ralof was a Stormcloak. No, let’s see what’s going on. Maybe he’s there.”
“Slutcat, there are lots of Stormcloaks. The odds aren’t good.”
“Well, they treated me better than the Imperials have so far. Come on. We won’t go in. Just see what’s going on.
As they approached the Fort, no sounds were heard within so they headed towards the gate. But then Sworddog smelled something.
"Death,” she said quietly. “There are bodies beyond that wall.”
Slutcat looked at Lydia, who nodded back towards the trail, but she shook her head and prepped her Sparks why Lydia slid her sword out.
As they approached the gate, they say a body in Stormcloak armor laying just outside the gate. The gate was open, but within another body could be seen. Charred.
“Dark mage,” whispered Lydia, “at least one, but they rarely are alone.”
“Halt!” suddenly came a voice from the wall over the gate. "That’s far enough!“
A head came into view. Dark elf. And by the robe, it appeared Lydia was right. A mage.
Slutcat stopped and thought about going back, but the helmeted body by the gate bothered her. His shoulders had been strong and wide, just like Ralof’s. She got an idea.
"No problem mage! No problem! We’re just scavenging. Mind if we loot that body over there? We won’t go inside.”
“Mmmm,” the dark elf mused. “Well… you’re surely not warriors dressed like that. I suppose. But if you step one foot within the gate, you will die. Understand?”
“S… sure! Thanks!”
“Go ahead. Take his clothes. You obviously need them bad.”
Slutcat approached the body. However, as she knelt beside it, she could see through the helmet that it wasn’t Ralof.
“What do you think?” Sworddog asked quietly.
“Lydia, this isn’t Ralof. But it could have been. I don’t give a fart about this whole Stormcloaks vs Imperials business. It’s not my fight. But this mage… or THESE people if there are more, they killed a friend of my friend. Do you think we can take them?”
Lydia eyed the mage peering over the wall.
“Definitely,” she smiled.
“Sworddog?”
“Let me at ’em,” she replied, growling.
“In that case…”
The three ran through the gate, Slutcat first with her sparks flying as she backed into the courtyard within, focusing her magic on the mage overhead. The fireball at his hands was unmistakable but she just ran to the side and up some stairs, all the while continuing to lay into him with the sparks.
A second mage hit her from behind just as the first one went down. She spun to face him but Sworddog was already on him as soon as he’d stepped out from behind a wall. Slutcat never had time to cast another spell as Lydia finished him off. Slutcat looked over the corpse for useful items, finding a healing potion.
“There’ll be more inside. Is this enough or do you want to really clean house?”
“Just call me the Lusty Khajiit Maid!” she cried, blood fever and adrenaline pumping through her now and they entered a nearby doorway.
Within, they killed everyone the met, even a more powerful mage. The combination of Sworddog running in to distract, Slutcat using her ranged Sparks spell to begin wearing them down while they focused on the fast canine, and then an old-fashioned sword wielded by a sword-maiden of no light talent, proved unstoppable for a pack of surprised dark mages.
Finally Slutcat found herself on a high platform at the top of the fortress, facing off against the most powerful mage yet. She ignored the magic-draining cold of his Frost spell, however, and used all she had in a simple, two-handed beam of power to test whose magic would hold out longest. She heard Sworddog barking as she came up behind her, but she called her back.
“No! No Sworddog. I’ve got this. I’ve got this bastard!”
The confident look on the mage’s face began to fade as she steadfastly refused to go down, her magic reserves apparently much greater than he expected. He began to falter. She just advanced upon him, feeling the energy leaving her body but knowing it was slamming into her enemy. She could almost see his health bar draining steadily, steadily. She certainly felt his frost spell. This was not like up at High Hrothgar, but she refused to acknowledge it and kept advancing to where he stood within a circle of candles, the dead body of a Stormguard nearby.
He began to scream his rage, but she didn’t hesitate. She kept coming, step by inexorible step.
And then it was over. He fell to his knees, his frost spell sputtering out. But Slutcat did not stop. She stood over him and emptied the last of her power directly at his head. And then he was dead.
And she collapsed.
“Slutcat!” cried Sworddog with Lydia right behind her.
“Slutcat, you’re a fool for not letting us help!” Lydia said, but Slutcat was already recovering as she downed a bottle of Healing.
“She…” Slutcat said, indicating the Stormcloak.
“Huh?”
Slutcat rose and stepped to the body of the soldier and removed her helmet.
“She demanded it. You won’t understand. But she helped me, somehow. Gave me reserves. Lady, whoever you were, you are avenged.”
Sworddog looked to Lydia.
“Could be. The recently dead… Who’s to say where they are and what they’re capable of?”
The three climbed down from the walls and left the fort.
“Should we do anything for them?” Lydia asked as they passed the body outside.
“There’s nothing to be done for them. They aren’t here. This is just meat,” Slutcat said.
“Still. It’s important meat. To someone.”
“Yeah. It is. Or it was. I forget what a violent place this is sometimes. But we’ve got things to do.”
“On to the horn?” Lydia asked.
“To the Horn!” Slutcat cried, raising a fist in mock jubilation.
Sworddog picked up on it. Sometimes mock bravery was just as good as the real thing. Sometimes it WAS the real thing.
“Three Bad-Ass Bitches!” Sworddog declared.
“That’s right!” Lydia agreed.
“Three Bad-Ass Bitches!” Slutcat laughed. “Wait… hold on a second…”
“What?” Lydia asked.
“I know. Where do you want me, Slutcat?”
“Right in the middle. Now Lydia, you stand over there…”
“Er… okay…”
“Now, spread your legs apart.”
“Wait, is this some sex thing?” Lydia asked.
“Go on, just do it. Oh, pull your sword out too. It’s bad-ass-er.”
“Like this?”
“Perfect.”
“Now what…”
“Give a mean angry face and just stand there for one… two… three…”
“BAD ASS!”
S&S Prelude #1
S&S Prelude #1
This post was inspired by a silly question. I ran with it and turned it into a bit of a backstory for Slutcat and Sworddog. It’s not complete, though I don’t plan to do another Prelude anytime soon either. Just think of it as a peek into S&S pre-Skyrim (or very, very POST-Skyrim depending on your point of view!) And sorry, no images with this one.
The year was 3021 by current convention when the genius canine, K10 of Theatus, created the first and only chronological anomaly in her government-funded laboratory up to that time. Yet, as ground-breaking as this discovery was, it was not her primary mandate. Instead, her goal was to discover the cause and limits of the phenomenon known as the Reverse Proportionality Rule. The RPR had changed warfare in a fundamental way, and eventually was responsible for ending physical combat globally, though that was still decades away.
However, though the Rule’s effects were well known, little was understood about it’s origin, and even less about it’s limits. The Rule, as currently understood, was simple enough…
“Any personal combat armor, regardless of material, worn by a fit and nubile female of human or humanoid type, will see it’s effectiveness increase in reverse proportion to the amount of physical coverage provided.”
When discovered, this Rule revolutionized warfare in a way that had not been seen in the history of Mundus. Tamriel discovered the rule first when an unwilling civilian, code named ‘Slutcat’, was thrust into battle via unusual circumstances. The projectile-limiting SloAir device was actively engaged in the battle at the time, forcing the combatants into physical melee alone. Though she was totally unequipped for battle, nonetheless she survived the encounter unscathed while nearly all of the military forces were decimated around her.
When the government learned of this miraculous event, Slutcat was taken to K10 for examination. As the inventor of the SloAir device and widely acknowledged to be the most intelligent mortal being on the planet, K10 was the best qualified and trusted scientist for this research. She had already been provided unlimited funds for further research on all things Military, as the ongoing conflict with Akavir had not been going well for Tamriel until the SloAir device was created. Yet this new phenomenon threatened to reverse the gains that had been made in the war if exploited by the enemy, so K10 was called in to research the situation.
Although her tests with the subject, Slutcat, were kept secret from the public, there was still much debate among those scientists, psychoanalysts, and military leaders as she began to publish her findings. At her request, however, K10 operated above the watchful eye of the bureaucracy. Even her location was kept in utmost secrecy. So when videos of Slutcat and K10 at a common public house were made known, it caused a clamor among the governmental officials that demanded more stringent oversight of the RPR project. However, no matter how much they railed and protested, K10 was simply too valuable to risk, and those in the very topmost positions refused to interfere with her research.
Meanwhile, the debate over the RPR in the scientific community continued to rage as K10’s reports became known. Two schools of thought on the subject had emerged. First, the school of Bumps maintained that the RPR was manifested most clearly when at least one of the three primary erogenous ‘bumps’ on the female body was covered – those being the nipples and clitoris. Less than that and the RPR was rendered invalid. Testing indicated, surprisingly, that the looser the covering, the better. And it didn’t appear to matter if the assailant was male or female or even bestial. Higher protectiveness values even seemed to originate when the bumps were only barely covered, and especially when that covering was very prone to exposure.
But those in the Bump train of thought were rivaled by a strong contingent of believers of the ‘Holes’ theory. They argued that the RPR was contingent not on the covering of the bumps, but in coverage of at least one of the four ‘holes’. Opponents protested the lack of any simple ‘hole’ in the nipples, but Holers maintained that such arguments were merely pedantic. In fact, the number of those in the Bumps camp were outnumbered by those in the Holes camp significantly. Yet the Holes camp lacked unity, as a sizable portion of them had come to the conclusion that it was not the covering of the Holes that mattered. Instead, they believed that the phenomenon was based on impermeability. That is, the RPR protectiveness quotient was attributable not to the visibility of the Holes, but simply by their inability to be penetrated easily. Thus, the ultimate RPR armor could be completely transparent and slutty, so long as the actual holes in question were blocked in such a way as to limit access to them physically.
In fact, shortly before the Anomaly discovery, K10 had published the results of her own testing on the subject. Using microfiber technology, she had created a new type of RPR armor that was nearly invisible, rendering the subject (Slutcat) naked for all practical purposes. Yet the armor showed the highest recorded RPR values yet seen. However, the armor was functionally impractical as the fiber must be of the sheerest and most fragile nature to be effective. More substantial thread actually decreased the RPR value.
While all this was being debated in the highest scientific circles, however, K10 and Slutcat were having a ball.
“You mean,” said Slutcat as she downed her third beer at a bar they had been frequenting lately, “you told them THAT?!”
Sworddog didn’t drink alcohol, but she laughed just the same. “Yeah! Spiderwebs! The ultimate RPR armor! They ate it up!”
“Jeeze, Kay, will they buy ANYTHING you give them?”
The dog nodded, a mischievous glint in her eye. “Apparently! As long as I keep sending them occasional useful gadgets. But don’t call me Kay. My new anti-surveillance field works perfectly, of course, but I can’t stop people from overhearing, and they might put 2 and 2 together.”
Slutcat flashed a tit at the bartender to get his attention. “Another please!” she requested.
“Sure thing!” he said, turning to pour her fourth.
“What should I call you then?” Slutcat asked. “Fido doesn’t seem right.”
“Naa. Call me…”
“Sworddog!”
“Sword dog? Why Sword dog?”
“Because of that getup you showed me earlier.”
“Oh! My armor! I get it. Well, I think I might need it when we go back. You may be nearly invulnerable there, but since I’m not humanoid, I can’t use RPR.”
“And you’re sure the SloAir device will work there? They’ll have arrows.”
The canine looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m pretty sure it will. But that’s really not what worries me.”
“Oh? What then?”
“Magic.”
“Magic?” Slutcat said, taking the mug from the bartender and flashing him the other tit.
“Yes. The ancient texts seem quite insistent. They even had schools of Magic of different sorts. I don’t know how to defend against Magic. I’m not sure the RPR even functions against it. I’ve nothing to test against!”
“Mmm. And you believe Magic exists?”
“I can’t rule it out. The RPR itself has got to be a type of magic. No logic in the world can explain it.”
“Well, that’s why we’re going back, right? To experiment?”
“That’s right. But it will be dangerous, even with your RPR outfit.”
“And you too! You don’t even get that protection as a dog. Look, I’m dying to get away. All those big strong men… not like these wimps now-days. I bet they have rock-hard dicks too! Back when a cock was a fucking COCK!”
“Well, we each have our reasons. Slutcat… you know I like you, right? Would you consider me your friend?”
“Oh hell yes! I got you that stud didn’t I? He was nice. If I was a four-legger, I’da jumped him!”
“Indeed, you did. And yes, he was… all I could ever ask for physically. Mentally a nincompoop, of course.”
“Sworddog, compared to you, EVERYONE is a nincompoop.”
The dog laughed her short little laugh.
“That’s true. But you’ve let me get out and loosen up. I like you Slutcat. I really, really want to do this, but I don’t want to force you. There are a million things that could go wrong.”
“You’re not forcing me. Hey, I like you too. You’re a good dog. And you don’t try to scam my men away from me! That’s a plus!”
“And I buy your beer.”
“Hey. You can buy anything you want. I don’t just like you for the stuff. You’re fun to hang out with! I’d like you even if you WEREN’T the great K10.”
“SHHHHH! Jeeze Slutcat!”
“Sorry. Must be the beer. I’m usually more discreet than that.”
“You ready to go back to the lab?”
Slutcat eyed the bartender. He was eyeing her back.
“Give me a half hour, okay?”
K10 sighed. “You are insatiable. I’ll give you an hour. Get it out of your system.”
Slutcat rose and smiled at the dog as she stepped around the end of the bar. The bartender was watching her every move, and his eyes told her all she needed to know.
“I’m about to get it INTO my system. Repeatedly and in very many ways I hope! I’ll be in the back room if you need me… But… Don’t need me. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“Okay. But try and leave him at least mobile this time, okay?” Sworddog said as the Khajiit and the Human bartender spoke quietly.
She could hear them, of course, but she chose not to. Instead, she switched the anti-surveillance device to “Annoy” and turned it on the other patrons. Shortly the bar was empty save for K10 and the rather noisy pair in the back room.
Reunited
“Oh my!” said one of the villagers in the little settlement that Slutcat and Lydia emerged into from the river.
“Sorry,” Slutcat said. “We… sort of went over the falls and don’t have any clothes or anything.”
“All back where we came from,” Lydia continued.
“You went over the falls! And survived? Like that!?”
Slutcat looked at Lydia, who just shrugged.
“Um… yeah. We did!”
“Well for heaven’s sake, let me get the menfolk out of sight of you and I’ll get you some clothes! My name is Annekke. Annekke Crag-Jumper.”
She then turned to another woman nearby, “Tormir, do me a favor and keep the men out of camp till I can get these ladies some clothes, would you?”
The other assented and was gone.
“Well, I’m no Lady, Annekke, but they call me Slutcat. And this is Lydia.”
The woman scowled a bit at Slutcat but her eyes grew wide when she heard Lydia’s name.
“Lydia from Whiterun?! I met you once years ago at one of the Jarl’s banquets! Do you remember me?”
“Sadly, no Annekke. But I met a lot of people when I was in Jarl Baalgruf’s court. Please don’t be offended.”
“Offended?! I’m honored! Pardon me, but, if you don’t mind me asking… what brings you out here? With… her?”
“Looks can be deceiving, Annekke. You are addressing a Thane of Whiterun. This is Slutcat, dragonslayer, barrow-walker and adventurer. She may be a bit… lusty shall we say? But her and her companion have already served the Jarl of Whiterun honorably and bravely!”
Annekke knelt in front of Slutcat. “I’m sorry Thane! I meant no disrespect!”
“Rise, Annekke of Darkwater Crossing. You didn’t know me. But I tell you what. How about you just give Lydia your clothes? Right here. Right now. They look like they’d fit close enough.”
The woman began undressing immediately. Slutcat turned around to Lydia who had a scowl, but Slutcat could also see the smirk underneath it. She shrugged turned back to the woman as she stripped naked.
“Nice. Thank you Annekke!” Slutcat said as she handed the clothes to Lydia who put them on quickly.
“Any chance for some food? We’ve not eaten all day,” Slutcat continued.
“I’ll bring you something right away!” Annekke said, then scurried off to her house.
Later, after they’d eaten, Slutcat were lounging near the fire.
“Now, is there anywhere we can spend the night? It’s getting late and I’d like to stay around here so my friend can find us.”
“You’re welcome to stay in my house! Right over there! It would be an honor!”
“Thanks, Annekke, but I think I’d prefer to stay out here really. My friend can’t open doors, but she can find us if we stay out here.”
“Oh! Well you’re certainly welcome to make use of our tents! How about these two?” Annekke offered, gesturing to a couple of the nearby tents.
Slutcat looked at Lydia, who was bent over putting her legs into her pants at the moment. The sight was… stimulating.
“Just one will do fine,” she said with a grin.
Annekke looked from her to Lydia, then back to Slutcat. “Oh! It’s like that?”
Slutcat shrugged. “It’s like that tonight. Ask again tomorrow. But yes. One will do.”
Lydia slid close to Slutcat and whispered, “Slutcat. You’re pushing too hard. These are poor miners. Let’s not sponge too much off of them!”
“Oh, I know. What can I say? She pissed me off earlier. I’ll let up on her though.”
It was then, just as the last light in the sky was fading that a familiar form trotted up.
“SWORDDOG!” Slutcat cried and ran to embrace the bitch.
“Good to see you too! Both of you!” Sworddog said happily, her tail wagging unapologetically. “I didn’t think you could have survived that!”
“Nearly didn’t! But Lydia saved me at least a couple of times.”
“Thank you Lydia. Slutcat, you may be a slut, but I’d be lost here without you!” the dog admitted.
“Well,” Lydia said. “At least we can get our regular stuff back on. Already I’m tired of wearing normal clothes! I can’t BREATHE in this thing!”
“I have a better idea,” Slutcat grinned. “Let’s check out the tent! You can breathe all over then.”
A few hours later, during a lull in the action, the two were relaxing within the rather airy pup tent.
“So, do you want to help them out with that mine business?” Lydia asked the khajiit.
“Naa. Maybe some other time. Right now I’d like to finish the Greybeards’ quest and avoid getting sidetracked.”
“Your wish is my command, Thane,” Lydia nodded.
“And right now I have another wish. Get thee betweeneth my legs, Housecarl!”
“Again?! Slutcat, I don’t know if my tongue can take anymore!”
“Think of it as endurance training!” she commanded.
“Slutcat,” Sworddog said.
“Mmmmmm… Hm? What?”
“I know you said you’d never let me out of your sight again… but…”
“OH! Yes! Right like that Lydia! OHHHH! MMmmmmm… you were saying, Sworddog?”
“I’m just not comfortable watching you two go at it like this,” the dog whimpered.
“Oh, sorry. Go on. We’ll be done… eventually.”
A Dog’s Tale
“Oh FUCK!” Sworddog thought as she saw her friends go over the falls while she raced to get back to them, too late.
“Maybe it won’t be so bad. Maybe it ends just a few feet down,” she thought as she ran to the edge to peer over.
She was soon disabused of that hope.
“SLUTCAT!”
No answer.
“SLUTCAT!!!”
Nothing. But worse was that, with the noise from the waterfall, she could be just a few feet away and still couldn’t hear.
“Oh FUCK!” Sworddog thought again. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.”
She looked at the rocky sides of the waterfall. No way she could go down that way. She’d have to take a path. She looked around and found a likely one on the right side of the falls and started the long trot down.
A bridge crossed the falls not far below, but looking over, Sworddog saw nothing but miles of falls continuing on below her.
“Dammit Slutcat, why did you have to go over with her?” she thought as she went back off the bridge to the trail. “I liked her too, but now both of you are gone!”
“SLUTCAAAAAAAT!” she called, knowing full well there was no way she would be heard.
“Well, it was bound to happen. Now, here I am. Stuck in Old-time Skyrim alone. The only sentient talking dog, and not a soul here who knows where I come from,” she thought.
“I’ll probably be killed as a devil or something, and no psychomechanics available to show I’m anything else. Dammit, Slutcat, I miss you already!”
“Miss WHO?” said a dog she hadn’t noticed, sleeping in some flowers near the trail.
“WHAT THE FUCK!?!”
“Hi! I’m Barbas! But you were saying… who do you miss?” the creature said in a heavily accented but perfectly understandable speech.
“I… Um… A friend. Slutcat. Who the fuck are you, and why can you talk? Dogs can’t talk until the Great Genesplice revolution that won’t happen for thousands of years!” Sworddog asked, flummoxed.
“Oh, I’m not really a dog. My master just likes me this way. Slutcat eh? Funny name for a friend.”
Sworddog sighed. “Funny friend. But it describes her to a T.”
“I see. Say, you wanna fuck or something?” asked Barbas.
“Hell yes, but I can’t right now. My friend went over the falls and I’m trying to find her.”
“Them,” Barbas corrected, sniffing Slutcat’s ass.
“Them? What do you mean? How did you know she was with a friend too?”
“I didn’t. I meant, by now your friend will be in multiple sections. You’re looking for them.”
“Fuck, you’re probably right.”
“So then, you’ve got nothing better to do! Your ass smells good. Hell, I might even impregnate you! Not sure if I’m really a dog or not as far as that goes.”
“Wait, if you’re not a real dog, why did you smell my ass?”
“Instinct comes with the package. Maybe. Or maybe I just like to sniff asses. I dunno!” Barbas pondered.
Sworddog considered his offer, but decided against.
“Sorry Barbas, I need to find out about my friend first. You wanna come with me?”
“Na. I gotta wait here. Master said. But maybe I’ll see you again sometime?”
“Sure! Your ass smells good too. If we meet again, let’s fuck.”
“Sure thing,” Barbas said as she turned to continue down the trail. “It’s a date!”
“HEY!” he called a moment later.
“Yeah?”
“What’s your name?”
“Just call me Sworddog!” she called back.
“Because of the sword on your back, right?”
“You got it!”
“Okay! I’ll be on the lookout for you!”
“See you later Barbas!” she said, and began calling for her friend again.
Finally Sworddog rounded a corner and saw that she was finally at the bottom of the falls. She looked up and up to where they originated high, high above, and her hopes were dashed.
At best, she probably was looking for “them” now.
But she saw nothing, of course. Not even the flash of the bright red air mattress. Nothing but water, mist and rocks.
She crossed the bridge at the bottom of the falls and looked over it’s edge. The mist from the falls dampened her fur a little, but she didn’t care.
Slutcat had always been a friend to her, even back where they’d come from. Their bodies were too different to be more than friends, but no matter what had happened, they’d always had each other. Sisters of a sort, she supposed. But now her friend was gone. Dogs don’t cry, but they do howl.
She let out a howl for her friend, then stepped back away from the falls.
“Well, better figure out what you’re going to do now, Sworddog,” she thought to herself. “Looks like you’re on your own.”
She looked around and spotted some smoke from a small village on the far side of the lake at the bottom of the falls.
Then she looked closer.
“Holy SHIT! Is that?!…”
She began to run,
Over and Down
“Lydia!” Slutcat called from the bank once she’d caught up with her friend.
“Slutcat? How do you steer this thing?”
“You don’t Lydia! You can try swimming to the bank!”
“Now you tell me?”
“I don’t think it’s working Slutcat. The current’s too strong.”
“Hold on. The bank juts out closer to you just ahead. I’ll try and swim out and help!”
“I don’t think you should do that. If it’s too strong for me, I’m afraid you won’t help much.”
“Nonsense. Surely the two of us can get you to the side.”
“What?”
“I SAID, NONSENSE!”
A few minutes later…
“There. I told you I could do it. Now we just paddle this over to the shore.”
“That was foolish of you, Slutcat. But thanks anyway.”
“Hey, I couldn’t let my best Housecarl go drown or something. Now, let’s get paddling…”
“I don’t think it’s working Slutcat.”
“WHAT?”
“I SAID, I DON’T THINK IT’S WORKING!”
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU, BUT I DON’T THINK IT’S WORKING! WHAT’S ALL THIS NOISE ANYWAY?”
The two looked in front of them, where the river… disappeared.
The looked back at each other and mouthed the same word. “WATERFALL!”
Lydia leaned in close as it became apparent they were going over.
“I LOVE YOU SLUTCAT!”
Slutcat gave her a kiss, and then they were falling…
Then the world turned cold, wet and blue.
Slutcat felt her body hit the water below, but she had barely started her journey. Whenever she found her head above water, she managed to gasp for air before she was under yet again.
Miraculously, she avoided the worst of the rocks, but the waterfall she’d gone over turned out to be the first of many, not to mention the rapids once she’d surfaced again.
She was already exhausted, but she felt strong hands pull her out to gasp for air again, before once again the water dropped away under her.
What followed she barely recalled, though she had managed to retain enough conciousness to swim as best she could, when she could.
Then suddenly she felt herself going under in a much deeper body of water, but she no longer had the strength to swim up. Yet once again, just as she’d given up hope, those strong hands found her again and pulled her up.
She awoke to semi-conciousness on a little bit of land beside a lake. The noise of the waterfall was still near, but she could hear other sounds. That of her friend Lydia the most welcome of all.
“Are you alright?”
Slutcat roused herself and coughed out a little water before answering.
“I think so. I don’t feel like anything is broken. You?”
“Bruised but not bad. How the hell we both lived through that I have no earthly idea!”
“Me neither! Where are we?”
“I think that little village over there across the lake is Darkwater Crossing. A little mining village,” Lydia suggested.
“Oh boy. You mean I have to swim some more?”
“Just a little bit more. I’ll help you. But we have a small problem. I’m naked and you only have your bikini.”
“Where’s Sworddog? She went back to get our stuff.” Slutcat asked.
They both looked up the way they’d come.
“Well,” Slutcat said. “She knows which direction we went.”
“What direction is that?”
“Down.”
Lydia laughed. A good sound to Slutcat’s ears and she smiled.
“Slutcat… about that thing I said. Before we went over.”
“Sorry, I couldn’t hear anything. Waterfall noise.”
“Ah,” Lydia said, but looked relieved.
“Oh, come here you,” Slutcat said, and kissed Lydia full on the lips.
“I don’t know where my life is heading, Lydia. And I don’t know if I can reciprocate as you’d like. I still like men an awful lot. Honestly, I love you too. But that implies more commitment than I can honor right now. I hope you understand. But I do.”
Lydia didn’t reply, but she smiled and kissed the Khajiit again.
They sat together for a while without saying a word, recovering their strength and just enjoying each other’s companionship.
Finally Lydia stood up and took Slutcat’s hand.
“Let’s go see if those miners have any clothes I can borrow.”
“Yes. And if they don’t, fuck em.”
“Fuck em!”
A Little Diversion (2 of 2)
“Well, hey, I didn’t say I didn’t have a bathing suit!” she laughed while Lydia just looked down at her own unadorned body in embarrassment.
“I want one next time!” she complained after helping Slutcat down off the rock.
They went to the waters edge and Lydia leaped in, allowing the shock of the cool water to brace her. But when she came up for air, she saw Slutcat was blowing into a tube affixed to something large and red.
“What’s that?” she asked.
Sworddog spoke up for Slutcat since she was busy blowing into the thing.
“Air mattress,” the dog said, as if that explained anything. “You blow it up and it floats on top of the water. Also lore-breaking as hell,” she ended, growling in Slutcat’s direction.
“Don mak me thmile” Slutcat said as she tried to continue inflating the little raft.
Finally she finished and she set the thing in the water and climbed aboard, relaxing as the air mattress undulated with the slight waves.
“Looks… nice!” Lydia said enviously.
“It’s great. Really relaxing. You should try it sometime,” Slutcat said.
Lydia said nothing for some minutes, watching the khajiit bob on the water, her face the picture of serenity.
“Slutcat,” Sworddog whispered, none too quietly.
“Hmm?” said the khajiit, opening her eyes.
“Let Lydia try for a little bit!” the dog said. “Jeeze, how dense are you?”
“Oh! You want to try it?” Slutcat said, rolling over and seeing Lydia practically salivating.
“If… you don’t mind,” she managed, obviously withholding her excitement as best she could.
Slutcat rolled off and watched Lydia struggle to try and climb atop the little raft.
“No,” she tried to explain. You’ve gotta get your… Like… Shove it…“
"But it won’t go, The thing keeps moving away. This is tricky!”
“Hold on. Let me give you a push. You gotta get your center of mass on top of it first, and your center of mass is your ass.”
Suddenly Slutcat grabbed her in a way that is normally associated with the most intimate of acts, and even then considered awfully kinky.
Lydia let out a ‘yelp’ that could be heard for miles, but Slutcat managed to heave her ‘center of mass’ atop the raft.
“Slutcat!” Lydia shouted once she’d recovered her dignity a little.
“Well… we are lovers aren’t we?” the khajiit smiled innocently.
“Yeah, but… Give me some notice before you go doing that again!”
The khajiit licked her fingers. “Maybe…” she smiled.
Lydia managed to straddle the raft now that she was on top, riding it something like a horse.
“There you go! Now you’ve got it! Now just lay back and put your feet up.”
“Oh! Yeah! This is great! Do tell me how to steer it though,” Lydia said as she lay back and closed her eyes, letting the sun’s warmth bathe her entire body in a way she’d long wished she could do, but had never been brave enough till now. Something about this khajiit brought out the libido in her like never before. She knew she was hot, and now she was brave enough to show herself off to the world for a change!
“I am going to need to steer it eventually though,” she said as she felt the sun upon her closed eyelids. “This is no lake, you know.”
“Oh-oh,” Slutcat said, looking at Sworddog guiltily.
Sworddog spoke quietly as they watched the little raft bob away.
“I’ll get the clothes, Slutcat. You go after her.”
“I can’t swim very well,” she admitted.
“Well then run down the bank alongside her! The sooner the better! GO!” Sworddog commanded. Slutcat took off running in the general direction of the raft.
A Little Diversion (1 of 2)
Tumbler has fits if there’s more than 10 images in a Text post so I’m splitting this one in two. Sorry for the delay. I dive back into Slutcat when I’m bored and don’t want to do anything more serious.
“Well alright then,” said Slutcat in the morning. “I think we’ve taunted those Greybeards enough. They were probably up all night whacking away, so we might as well head out.”
They gathered their things and headed towards the front door.
“Hold on, before we go out, maybe we should take a quick look at the map. See where we’re heading?” Lydia suggested.
“Good idea! So… where are we and where are we heading?” Slutcat said, suddenly interested.
“So we’re here, at High Hrothgar. And that blue arrow is where we need to go.”
“Oh, that’s not so far. So we just go this way, right?”
Lydia looked up at Slutcat. “If you want to jump off the side of the Throat of the World, sure! But us mortals have to take the Seven Thousands Steps all the way back to here.”
She pointed at Ivarstead, almost the dead opposite direction.
“Oh crap. And then we have to go all the way back around the mountain…”
“Now you get it.”
Oh well, such is life for the Dragonborn, I guess. I might as well get used to it. Let’s get started!“
Lydia packed away the map and they were off again.
"Sure would be nice if there were some way to travel faster,” Slutcat said as they began the arduous climb back down the mountain.
“Well… there’s always… Fast Travel,” Lydia suggested.
“Fast travel!? That sounds like just the thing! Why don’t we do that?”
“Er… Slutcat,” Sworddog said.
“Mmm?”
The dog motioned to where the camera lurked pointing straight at her and Lydia’s butts.
“Oh. Sorry. Forgot about that.”
“What’s the problem?” Lydia asked, not understanding.
“Fan service,” Slutcat said. “Don’t worry about it. It’s another thing that comes with being the Dragonborn.”
“Ah…” Lydia said, though obviously not comprehending.
“Just… Lydia. Can you walk more feminine? You know… Like this… Really get those hips swaying!”
Finally they made it back to the base of the mountain around mid-morning, and crossed the bridge into Ivarstead.
“I don’t know about you, Lydia, but I’m getting a little ripe,” Slutcat said, looking at the rushing water below.
“What do you mean?”
“Lydia. I stink., You stink. First chance we find some still water, we’re taking a bath!”
They stopped into the Vilemyr Inn for a quick breakfast, but were out on the road again quickly. As they continued, they crossed another bridge when Slutcat put her hand out.
“There! That looks beautiful! You can stand here and sweat yourself clean, Lydia, but I’m going in!
"I don’t have a bathing suit,” Lydia complained, but Slutcat just looked at her.
“Really? Like, we’re supposed to be surprised?” Sworddog spoke up. “Look Lydia, as long as you’re travelling with Slutcat you might as well know you’re going to be naked or semi-naked most of the time. It’s just the way the universe works around her. So get used to it.”
Lydia nodded, “I’m learning! Well, okay then! Skinnydipping is always fun!”
Lydia stripped off while Slutcat removed her clothes on a small outcropping near the water.
“Hey!” Lydia complained when she saw that Slutcat now wore a small but serviceable bikini.
Greybeards
“You rang?” Slutcat said as she strolled into High Hrothgar, for all the world the essence of confidence.
The four old men lived up to their namesakes. The beards they sported were indeed grey and the wrinkled eyes above them watched as Slutcat, Lydia and Sworddog entered the main room of High Hrothgar.
“Are you the Dragonborn!?” said their spokesperson, who introduced himself as Master Arngeir.
“I am. Apparently.”
“We… did not expect one so…”
“Furry?” Slutcat said, fully expecting these old men to be as racist as the Nords below.
“Naked,” he corrected her.
“Oh. Well, hey. A girl’s gotta show off a little, you know? Just tell your buddy over there that’s staring at my ass so much that in some places it costs extra to get a view like he’s getting!”
“Sorry, we’re a rather lonely bunch up here. You must excuse our… interest.”
“I’m surprised you have any interest left. But if any of you want to prove me wrong, let me know! Lydia here is my Housecarl and lover, but I’d love a good dicking if any of you have it left in you.”
Lydia laughed and slapped her own ass. “Hell, I’ll take you all on if you’re up for it!”
Slutcat eyed Lydia approvingly. “I knew you were right for this job!”
Two of the others began to approach, but Arngeir waved them back.
“Wait! First we must be sure you are truly Dragonborn. Show us your Voice.”
After some instruction, Slutcat was soon able to use a Shout they had given her that forces people away.
“Hey! This would have come in real handy at the last place I worked, Sworddog!”
“Ah,” the dog responded, secretly happy to be back on speaking terms with her old friend. “But remember, don’t do it until after you’ve got their money!”
“Oh! Good point. So, just the four of you then Arny?”
Arngeir frowned at the nickname. “There is another. Our leader Paarthurnax. But you must prove yourself worthy to meet him. Come. The Shout you just used is instinctive in the Dragonborn. But let us see if you can learn a whole new Shout. Outside…
They followed the Greybeards, but as they walked Lydia whispered to her, somewhat in awe.
"You really are the Dragonborn Slutcat! Do you know what this means?!”
“You’ve been licking the pussy of a future Hero?”
“Yes! Exactly!”
“Well, that’s more like it. Next time I expect an orgasm of HEROIC proportions!”
“I live to serve, my Lord!” Lydia giggled.
Outside in the Courtyard, one of the Greybeards cast some sort of spell on the ground, and Arngeir asked if she could learn it. She looked at the word inscribed in the snow, but try as she might she couldn’t make heads-or-tails of it. But then suddenly it began to glow.
She backed off as something entered her mind and, just as suddenly, she now understood this new Shout.
“Wuld!” she said, turning back to Arngeir.
“Very good indeed! Yes! Now, we need to test this new shout. Borri will open this gate. Use the Shout to pass through before it closes. Stand here beside me.”
Oddly she understood not only the word, but what it would do. When the gate opened, it was nothing to Shout the word and suddenly she was running faster than should be possible! She was through the gate easily before it closed.
Arngeir was surprised and elated by her ability to master a new Shout so quickly, but there was apparently one more ‘test’ she must pass before the Greybeards would consider her mission complete and be officially acknowledged as the true Dragonborn.
“You must retreive the horn of Jurgen Windcaller from the ruin known as Ustengrav,” Arngeir explained.
Slutcat looked worried. “I’m sorry, Master Arny. But I’m kinda new here. I don’t know where that is!”
Lydia spoke up then, “I know of it. It is on our map. But Slutcat, you don’t have to accept this quest, you know. Ustengrav is haunted, to say the least!”
Slutcat looked back to Arngeir. Though she didn’t quite know why, she liked this old hermit, living up here with his three boyfriends, doing who knows what perverted things in their off hours. But still, he seemed nice and really wanted to help her learn this whole Way of the Voice thing.
“No problem. I made it through Bleakfalls Barrow, didn’t I Slutdog? With you two along to help, I’m sure we can find this Horn. But… Arny. It’s getting late. Can we stay overnight?”
“Of course, Dragonborn! High Hrothgar welcomes you to stay the night with us. Though I’m afraid we haven’t much but books in the way of entertainment.”
Slutcat looked back at Lydia and smiled evilly. “No worry, we brought our own.”
Later, Slutcat and Lydia were engaged in some lovemaking in one of the small single-person beds that was offered them while Sworddog tried her best to ignore the sloppy sounds coming from the two..
“…I’m sure they’ll let you take a bed, Sworddog. I think they just didn’t understand that you’re not a, you know, regular dog. I’ll ask them later.”
“I appreciate it. It’s not that I’m a spoiled, pampered dog, you know. But really – I risked my neck as much as either of you did!”
“Yes you did, Sworddog, and I’ll…. OH! MMMmmmMM!”
“You’ll what?” Sworddog asked the distracted khajiit.
“Kiss my ass!”
“WHAT?” Sworddog asked, swinging her head around to see what had pissed off Slutcat suddenly.
“N… no… Lydia… Kiss…. my… YEAAAAAAH!”
Sworddog rolled her eyes and turned back around as the Housecarl buried her face between the khajiit’s butt cheeks.
“And they make fun of us dogs for doing the EXACT SAME THING! There is no justice…”
Another 15 minutes later and Slutcat was finally able to talk coherently again, as her and Lydia swapped places so she could return the favor.
“I don’t know how you do it, really,” Sworddog said, looking away.
“Well, it’s pretty simple really. I just take my tongue… like this… and put it on her…”
“Not that. But… Here? Now?”
“Why not mmmmfffflr…” Slutcat said, her words slurred as she applied her tongue to other duties.
Lydia replied, but not in intelligible words.
“But,” Sworddog said, knowing full well no one was listening to her, “With the old men watching?! You really are a Slut-Cat.”
Slutcat tore herself away from Lydia’s crotch long enough to protest, “Hey! I invited them to join in! Is it my fault they don’t have any private bedrooms?”
Warmth
“Thanks for the ride, Lydia. But no, I think I’m getting my energy back. I can take it from here. You sure are a strong one, aren’t you?”, Slutcat said, climbing down from Lydia’s shoulders.
“Well thank you, Slutcat. I do try to stay in shape. I’m not above admitting that I take pride in my body,” Lydia said as she set the Khajiit back on her feet.
“And a lovely shape it is. But I was wondering something…”
“Yes, what is it?”
“Well, Sworddog has her fur to keep her warm up here. And I’ve got a little of my own of course…”
“Right,” Lydia responded, not quite sure what she was getting at.
“But you… You’re naked. Why aren’t you freezing?”
Lydia looked down at herself. The cat was right. Why wasn’t she freezing? She looked back at Slutcat. “I… really don’t know! But I feel fine.”
The two walked on, but Lydia’s thoughts kept coming back to Slutcat’s question.
“I should have frostbite by now or something,” she said to no one in particular. “Could the reverse proportionality rule have something to do with it?”
Slutcat shugged, noticing a large dragon descending. She prepared her Sparks for battle.
“Who knows? The cold has never bothered me, but I always assumed it was my fur.”
Lydia readied her sword. “But you don’t have that much fur. I mean, really your ass is completely exposed for all practical purposes.”
The three began to battle the dragon halfheartedly.
After the battle was over and Slutcat had gathered up some scales and bones, they continued on.
“Well, that dragon’s fire sure warmed me up some,” Lydia considered.
“Sure, sure. But that was a half hour ago. And the wind is whipping around something fierce up here!”
“Must be the Rule. It’s the only explanation,” Lydia concluded.
Then a frost troll attacked and they once again resumed their battle positions.
As they fought the beast, Slutcat continued the conversation.
“But you even sweat! All the laws of physics and thermodynamics would surely say that sweat should be frozen. Of course I don’t sweat myself, but I know what it is. It’s kinda sexy actually.”
“Thanks!” Lydia said, slashing the troll while Sworddog leapt for its throat.
“Get the troll fat,” Lydia suggested after they’d killed it. “It’s worth some gold.”
Slutcat knelt down, ripped the troll’s fur from sternum to bowels and removed the fat, wiping her hands on it’s still-warm fur.
“Thanks! Got it.”
“I know why she doesn’t get cold,” Sworddog muttered, though no one responded.
Finally they came in sight of High Hrothgar.
“I guess that’s it,” Lydia said, not unimpressed herself with the place.
“It looks empty. Lydia, I never really thought about it before, but… maybe I’m not cut out for this Dragonborn stuff.”
“Oh, sure you are Slutcat. Don’t get scared now. The Greybeards are nothing to be scared of. They’re just a bunch of old men in robes.”
“I suppose…” Slutcat said, taking a deep breath before continuing on to the building.
“I’ll bet you weren’t what they were expecting!” Lydia laughed, trying to lighten the mood.
“A cat you mean. No, you’re probably right.”
“Oh this isn’t like you Slutcat! Lighten up!”
Sworddog followed behind them to one of the main doors to High Hrothgar.
“The heat comes from your audience,” she said to no one in particular.
“No one to meet us. I wonder if that’s a bad sign?”
In answer, Lydia hugged her strongly from behind. “It’s not a sign of anything, Slutcat. Remember, they called YOU. Besides, you’re a Thane of Whiterun, and you have ME as your housecarl. You’ve defeated two dragons now and a frost troll, not to mention all those wolves and spiders along the way.”
“Bears,” Slutcat reminded her. “There weren’t any spiders.”
Lydia looked at Sworddog, who nodded her head. “Oh, sorry. That’s right. But all those bears too. Now march right on in there and tell them you’re here. The Dragonborn doesn’t knock!”
“You’re right. Now kiss me one more time, you strong, lusty, sweaty Housecarl!”
Under her breath, Sworddog added, “What’s amazing is that there’s still any snow left anywhere near you two! Get a room!”
slutcatandsworddog 